My Skills
(& 117)

Being a poem which details some of stuff I've worked with over my career. It should help to confirm that if you're thinking of employing me it should most definitely not be to write poetry.

Whatever I've done there’s HTML,

there’s that and there’s CSS.

And JavaScript? They sometimes say.

Someone asked me again today.

I’ll always answer “Yes!”.

I started off syndicating news,

XML, or with pipes between.

I learnt some Perl from a man named Vince,

I wrote some regex which made him wince,

my DTD schemas were green.

Then I learnt PHP and MySQL,

To make pages from data requests.

I wrote OOP classes, learned MVC skills,

Pulled data from multiple tables (in mills).

The cinema listings were best.

I was making web pages for mobile phones,

or WAP as it used to be called.

On Nokia, SE and Samsung machines,

with fiddly buttons and tiny screens,

we’d wait while the data speed crawled.

So into Service Design I leapt

User flows, Interaction Design.

Focus groups, card sorting, boxes and arrows,

Some fine paper prototypes (but very few marrows).

Visio was a good friend of mine.

Then a team change, it was just called Design,

all using Creative Suite tools.

I learned Photoshop, Illustrator & Fireworks too,

From some damn fine designers who knew what to do,

and all of them swore like mules.

Then I went off a while from that place where I’d been,

to an agency up in the hills,

I did Flash for a bit which was really quite fun

As long as it’s AS3 (not 2 or 1).

Just enough to pay the bills.

I grappled with Wordpress a little bit too,

And thought I’d accepted defeat.

But despite some code that’s like pea soup,

I gritted my teeth and accepted The Loop,

And knocked the thing right off it’s feet.

Now I’ve come full circle you might say,

As experience distills,

Responsive Web Design is my passion today,

It’s how it should always have been anyway,

And it makes such good use of my skills.

So before I leave you, there’s one more thing,

To say just before I go.

Though I’ve done this stuff and I’m clever and keen,

No matter what happens, no matter how mean,

I will never do SEO.